I heard a great short sermon on Moody Radio (WBNH-88.5) this morning! The timing of it could not have been more perfect. Nothing's ever a coincidence because God's timing is always perfect. There was a snow storm last night so this morning before school I went out and started my car a little earlier. By the time I was ready, I walked out to my, now, warm car. I usually just stick my iPod in the tape jack right away and take off. But this morning, before even sitting in the drivers seat, I heard the speaker say "Now let's open to James chapter 4." This caught my attention. I love the book of James! Hmm, ok, I might as well give it a listen. The speaker actually only covered 2 verses and I may only have a 20 minute commute but it was probably the best 20 minute car trip I've had in a long time!
James 4:11&12-Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor?
From this, he went on to talk about the 3 different degrees of slander, committed by Christians on a regular basis. The first degree, which is very easily overlooked, is the casual things we may say about something or even just a situation. "I didn't really like that last song we sang, I don't know what made the team pick it." or "Someone should really tell Kathy that blue is not her color!" or "Did you see the way she tried talking to him? Doesn't she knows she doesn't have a chance?" These are examples of some ways that we slander one another on the first degree level. Just a simple comment made to someone else that seems somewhat harmless but so easily slips off of our tongues. As innocent as it may seem, it's still putting the individual that we are talking about down and influences the opinion(s) of who we are talking to.
The second degree of slander is little more interesting. Something I, personally, had never really thought of. This one comes out with prayer requests. "I probably shouldn't say anything but, we should pray for Bob and Nancy. They're having troubles in their marriage." Something very specific that the speaker said about this point, is that if you ever hear someone say, "I probably shouldn't say anything but..." then sure enough they shouldn't and you should tell them not to say anything. We try to justify our actions but telling ourselves that we're helping them by asking for prayer on their behalf. The only way doing this is right is if they specifically give you permission to pass it on. Otherwise, if it was shared with you, it's probably better just to keep it to yourself. After all, they did trust you with it. If what's said in any way gives someone else a negative view, then it is slander.
Finally, there's the third degree of slander. This one is probably the most obvious one and is more clearly defined as straight-up gossip. (Even though all of the above are considered to be gossip as well) These examples usually seem much more blunt and may come out of anger, bitterness or quite frankly just judgement. "What the heck!? I cannot believe he said that to you! Oh my gosh, he is seriously being such a jerk! I would slap him, if I were you!" This may sound like a conversation between two middle school girls but sadly, this is very similar to a conversation I had just yesterday.
Here's a little background information, also why this sermon hit me so hard this morning:
In the morning (yesterday) I decided to text one of my friends a somewhat serious question. A couple minutes later, I saw that he/she (let's call this individual Jordan...it's gender mutual and it keeps things confidential) had responded. Expecting a serious answer in response, I receive a random text that had nothing to do what what I had asked. It was quite frustrating and out of my frustration, I began to text 2 of my close girl friends about it. "I'm gonna stinkin throw *Jordan. I asked a serious question and I didn't even get a serious answer!!" Yep, those were pretty much my exact words. I kept talking with these girls about it and how it's been this way for at least a few weeks by now. You see? I used to be able to get in serious conversations with *Jordan all the time but something is just different now and I feel as if I'm not being treated properly by him/her. I was going to respond right away but I figured I should let my frustrations dwindle so I waited until after I came home from class, when I had time to cool off and think about it. I texted *Jordan back saying how I was feeling and all that. I will admit that maybe the words I said weren't as nice as they should have been but I was trying to be as kind yet honest as possible. The conversation kept going with some awkwardness that's for sure and it definitely didn't end as I had wished, but I said what I wanted to say. I felt as if *Jordan had called me out for doing things that I didn't even think I did, and I was a little upset about it but then again, I was the one stepping on toes here so I didn't really have the right to be upset. It was pretty much a humble smack-down! I still feel bad for calling *Jordan out. Maybe my intentions were selfish. After all, I was confronting *Jordan because I didn't think I was being treated properly. Whether I want to believe it or not, I'm sure I have some blame in this whole situation too.
To make matters worse, I ended up telling my 2 friends about the entire conversation I had with *Jordan. What!? Why!? Bad Jessica! It goes back to that whole trust thing. Even though I was a part of the situation, I still had no right telling them because I'm sure *Jordan wouldn't want me telling other people. (Sorry *Jordan!...You know who you are) It's no one else's business. Like the sermon speaker had said, the reason we go and tell people about things like this is usually because we want others to take our side. I'm completely admitting that that's what I did here and have for sure done in the past before as well. In fact, one of the girls was even being encouraging and I didn't even wanna read what she was telling me because she was in a sense trying to defend *Jordan. Wow! That's terrible! Emotions are up and down all the time, so we shouldn't rely on them so much. So girls, (again....you know who you are.) I'm sorry for venting, gossiping, and bringing on negative views about *Jordan to you. And again, *Jordan, I'm sorry that I confronted you in that manner and put you down. Thank-you for sharing your thoughts with me and for unintentionally humbling me.
Anyways, readers, this is a very valuable lesson that I only hope and pray sticks with me and you guys as well, because I KNOW it's something we all deal with. Like I said, 20 minute ride....hard truth and conviction.
Father, help us not to let slander, gossip and judgment slip off of our tongues! (Or even enter our minds) Allow us to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and slow to anger. May we not look at the speck in our neighbor's eye when we ourselves have a plank.
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